A British historical drama film, “The Dig” (2021) had me focus in on one particular quote. The film is about the 1939 archaeological excavation of Sutton Hoo in Suffolk, England. A woman facing her mortality tells archaeologist Basil Brown. We die. We die and we decay. We don’t live on. Basil Brown replies. I’m not sure I agree. From the first human handprint on a cave wall, we’re part of something continuous. So, we… don’t really die.
Such a philosophical reflection about human connection and legacy. While individuals may pass away, their contributions and influence continue to resonate through time connecting them to a larger, continuing narrative of humanity.
So when Jane reached out to tell me her b.c.* metastasized, our interconnection contributed to an ongoing story—a story that contributes to her legacy and helps you focus on yours..
Jane gave me written permission to pass along her words to my readers after I suggested she change the pronouns into her writing with “I” statements. In turn, she was creating her own life’s mantra as she owns the words she used. She gave me permission to publish her words to also help others get through their going-through-process—no matter what comes their way.
As her sister Mary writes on her July 16, 2025 FaceBook post. “She [Jane] joined our ancestors…” Even though I will miss my conversations with Jane, it is my honor to share her human handprint as she shows us how she lives as something continuous to help others.
Here are Jane’s life lessons as she contemplates the unpredictable life.
1. I choose my worries. Some things are worth worrying about because the process of worrying allows me to develop solutions. Other things have no solutions, at least none that I can be in charge of. These things do not deserve my “worry time.” It is best for me to stay in the present moment, which I have found to be a pretty good place to live.
2. I do not neglect my friends. I do not neglect my family. I make the effort to appreciate them, stay in touch with them, support them in whatever challenges and travails and accomplishments they are experiencing. I tell them I care. I tell them I love them. I thank them for everything they do, and most importantly, I am willing to share my journey with them. I have found that most people appreciate knowing what I’m going through and really care.
3. I keep moving. Even when I don’t feel like it. Even when I’m so tired that I don’t know how I can possibly get up, I try to move at least a little bit. I walk outside. I meet a friend at the park. I make my bed. I take a lap around the house–if nothing else, I just stand up and stretch. It’s so important that my body knows it’s still in the game.
4. I express myself creatively. In the past year, I started painting abstract art. It gave me something new to do and opened up a part of myself that I hadn’t met until now. I think everyone has that within themselves. Whether my creative outlet is art, music, cooking, writing, crafting, repairing, gardening, singing, dancing, inventing, designing, or whatever it is I like, I go for it! I don’t have to be good at it. I just do it for joy’s sake.
5. I wander around in my faith. I commit to my religion (faith) a little bit more than I did before. I find my favorite prayers and hymns and make them part of my routine. It’s OK for me not to have the answers. And it’s OK not to believe. The accoutrements of my faith touches my psyche and my soul in ways that are healing and that helps me to go forward on these hard journeys.
6. I look my best. I make the effort. I know it’s hard some days but putting on some earrings and fixing my hair, wearing some pretty clothes or fun socks, getting my hair or nails done; all these little things are so important for me to feel good about who I am as a human being, as someone who is still in the game.
7. I embrace the unpredictability of my life. My own diagnosis is a serious one, and I’m uncertain about what kind of time I might have. Some people do well for years, and some do not. My situation remains unpredictable. Embracing that allows me to make all the preparations and plans that I need to be at peace. And it grants me the freedom to fully live all the days that are mine. And seriously who really knows how much time any of us have?
8. My favorite prayer is “May my presence be a blessing to others.” However long I live and in whatever way I (choose) to live, I hope that I can somehow be a blessing to those around me. If I say this prayer often it helps me find beautiful ways to be a blessing in the lives of my friends and family and everyone I meet. It helps me remember why I am here in the first place.
9. I open my eyes to surprise! Something unexpected will happen today. Something will amaze me or maybe scare me or humor me or enchant me. Whatever it is, I will be truly awake and aware and allow myself to know it, to see it, to feel it, to be it. Amazement is the most precious gift of my human life. I choose to be amazed.
10. All human beings suffer so I won’t run away from my fatigue, my fear, my worry, my desperation, and my pain. I respect and honor my hard feelings. Trying to avoid them doesn’t help me. I ask myself “what is it I need right now” and do my very best to fill that need. This is how I can make it better for myself and others.
Jane’s Adventure Book
JANE LINGUA